Men's

• Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?
• So men can understand them.

• What is the difference between government bonds and men?
• Government bonds mature.

• What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
• Put the remote control between his toes

• What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
• Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

• What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
• E.T. phoned home.

• Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
• When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

• How do men define a 50-50 relationship?
• We cook; they eat. We clean; they dirty. We iron; they wrinkle.

• How do men exercise at the beach?
• By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

• What does a man consider to be a seven-course meal?
• A hot dog and a six-pack.

• How are men like noodles?
• They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

• Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
• When the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions.

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